Deviation Actions

Aio-chan's avatar

The Sneaker Princess - Ch 6

By
Published:
145 Views

Description

Think this concludes what I would call 'Arc 1' of the story. Maybe a bit exposition heavy. Was actually surprised when I had to stop myself from going way over the word limit guide line I've been imposing for more 'even' feeling chapters.

:iconlanton: - Artist of the clip used for the preview. :3
© 2014 - 2024 Aio-chan
Comments2
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
HylianSpy's avatar
Bravo, another great chapter! :D  But 3 tiny things, if I may...

1. This sentence doesn't make sense to me: "I'm not a child anymore. Time I started acting like one." Is it supposed to say that?

2."a different 'warning color' was permanently died into the shoes" In this sentence, I believe the correct word is "dyed", not "died". 
 
3. "We call them; the Exodai." I don't think a semi-colon can go there. I struggle with them as well, but from what I've read, they replace a period; you can use them to bind two parts of a sentence that could've worked as two separate ones. (See what I did there? ;)

Ahg I always feel like I'm being rude when correcting things in peoples' writing, but I hope this possibly helped! I can't wait to read the next chapters. :heart: